Do you watch X-Men, James Bond, Charlies Angels because it makes you feel more powerful? When you are ‘down’ do you watch certain films because they make you feel better? When you are struggling in life, do you like to watch movies about people who overcome their problems?
This is not foolish.
It’s an age-old technique used by spiritualists in practices like Buddhism that are related to using the imagination to conjure up images that relieve stress and anxiety.
For example, psychologists walk patients through exercises where they face their fears, go back to key trauma in childhood, or examine issues of jealousy in the safe space of the psychologist’s office.
Also, visualization is a technique used by investors and creators alike to call forth new inventions, processors, or businesses into the world.
These are also techniques that can be used in your sex life. If you are about to sleep with another person and you are nervous, play out the scenario in your mind first. But really do it. Lay on your bed, and imagine the small details, like eating dinner, taking a sip of wine, walking through the streets to the car. Get yourself all the way through to the bedroom, then imaging kissing, peeling off clothing, maneuvering sheets on the bed etc.
This walkthrough approach or visualization spiritualists call it, can really help when one is getting over the nerves of a first date.
It can be used in any sexual context. Work with it and add it to your sexual self-respect repertoire.