We here at AJAX Books are firm believers in sexual goal setting.
With all the reading and research that we do, we find that one’s sex life can be dramatically improved if one begins to take responsibility for it. When you think hard about the sort of sex life you want, and then take steps to make that happen for yourself, a great deal of happiness follows.
Of course, this means you will have to know what you like to begin with. You have to run some experiments and try different things for yourself. You will have to read up on what fascinates you and test a few things with an understanding partner, dildoes and vibrators, or any number of other wonderful sex stimulants.
This is A bit of a project, and when we feel that our life is filled with so many other tasks, and jobs it might be a bit of a pain to be told that our sex lives need goals and organization. But sorting out your sex life is a step toward freedom, not a new level of constraint. It asks too much of sex to demand that it fulfill ill-defined demands. And leaving it to that risks you needing sex to fulfill something it can’t or shouldn’t have to.
If you lack the motivation to do something like this, the best thing to try is small steps. Sex is all about pleasure, so choose something you like. Start there.
Then choose something you think is naughty.
Then choose something you have always wanted to try.
Start with titillation. And remove all your refusals. Use masturbation to learn about yourself so that you don’t have to include any sort of shame or embarrassment in the presence of another.
Most of all, when you love yourself, make sure you genuinely love yourself.
Read more about how to inspire motivation here.