We just wanted to let you know that Kellogg’s Cornflakes were originally invented by Dr. Kellogg in the hope he could discourage people from masturbating.
Lucky for us, his experiment was a total failure. We can’t say that cornflakes turn us on, but neither do they turn us off. We had to confess to not linking Cornflakes and masturbation at all.
Fortunately, both masturbation and Kellogg’s Cornflakes survived this odd little moment in history and we now know that masturbation is really good for us.
So please feel free to masturbate and eat Cornflakes to your heart’s desire.