We are all very entranced with what we accomplish these days. If you don’t have health and well-being goals you will find that these aspects of your life might never improve, may deteriorate in value, or may even slip away altogether.
Sexual health is no different.
However, the advantage of sexual health is that it can be used to impact other health goals.
For example, if you want to reduce your stress levels, take up a healthy daily masturbation habit.
If you want to lose weight, masturbation is a wonderful way to give yourself non-food related pleasure.
If you want a better night’s sleep, masturbate before you nod off.
If you want to improve your relationships, start in the bedroom.
Having positive sex goals can make a very big difference in other areas of your life.
If you want to achieve a new sex goal, such as branching out with different pornography, adding tantric sex into your life, or training yourself to orgasm in a fresh new way, you need to do a little research into what you want.
After that, you can break the end goal down into small activities that take you in that direction.
By focusing on a sex goal, you may find you start to reduce stress levels, improve your self-esteem, and get a great night’s sleep.
We here at AJAX Books are firm believers in sexual goal setting.
With all the reading and research that we do, we find that one’s sex life can be dramatically improved if one begins to take responsibility for it. When you think hard about the sort of sex life you want, and then take steps to make that happen for yourself, a great deal of happiness follows.
Of course, this means you will have to know what you like to begin with. You have to run some experiments and try different things for yourself. You will have to read up on what fascinates you and test a few things with an understanding partner, dildoes and vibrators, or any number of other wonderful sex stimulants.
This is A bit of a project, and when we feel that our life is filled with so many other tasks, and jobs it might be a bit of a pain to be told that our sex lives need goals and organization. But sorting out your sex life is a step toward freedom, not a new level of constraint. It asks too much of sex to demand that it fulfill ill-defined demands. And leaving it to that risks you needing sex to fulfill something it can’t or shouldn’t have to.
If you lack the motivation to do something like this, the best thing to try is small steps. Sex is all about pleasure, so choose something you like. Start there.
Then choose something you think is naughty.
Then choose something you have always wanted to try.
Start with titillation. And remove all your refusals. Use masturbation to learn about yourself so that you don’t have to include any sort of shame or embarrassment in the presence of another.
Most of all, when you love yourself, make sure you genuinely love yourself.
New Year’s resolutions sometimes get a bad rap. Some dislike the concept and argue because it’s played out it is ineffective.
Some of us (our little group included) like to use the concept as a vehicle for trying new things.
Pushing into our boundaries is essential if we want to improve our lives, achieve a goal, or avoid a problem. Getting our brain to think in new ways is an essential part of letting go of toxic behavior or thought patterns.
Learning how to help your brain jump track from something you don’t want to something you do want is a good practice to develop.
Why have New Year’s Sex Resolution?
Rather than thinking of improving our sex lives as another-job-I-have-to-do why not think of it as an adventure into something else?
Patterns of behavior are essential to achieving anything. If you are not completely satisfied with your sex life, it might be very exciting to think about changing it.
A New Year resolution is a good trigger to get you in touch with a little eustress in order to boost your sex life.
Start your Sex Goals where you are
The best way to change is to begin where you’re at right now.
Work out what you don’t like about your sex life today.
If you are in a relationship, talk to your partner about a sex goal that excites both of you. It might be a small thing, like increasing the number of times you have sex from twice a month to three times a month. Or it might be adding stimulus to your connection that helps you let go of daily stress and adds sex as a relief.
If you are in a relationship and the pair of you do not want a lot of sex for a few months, you might want to make an agreement to do something else for a while to keep your physical connection (like massage or taking baths together) while you take a break from sex.
If you are single and you want more sex in your life, create a masturbation plan that pushes you into new boundaries. Try different types of pornography, use sex toys in new ways. If you want more sex with others, take a sex class, and learn how to be approachable and offer yourself in a way that is appealing to others.
New Year’s Sex Goals
Creating sex goals is more about noticing what’s missing than it is about getting what you want.
Sometimes sex can be a cause of anguish and make us feel guilty or bad about ourselves.
Your new year’s sex resolution might include a journey to self-awareness. Not necessarily what you want physically, but also what you want or don’t want mentally and spiritually.
The joy of fire and sex
Sex is a dynamic, exploding fiery joy. It is a source of great power in your life. Finding out how to harness that power and use it to your advantage is an exciting path to personal expansion and change. The world might be nothing like you think it is. Your sex life might hold all the keys to a new and better world for yourself.
Be bold. Be brave. Be kind. Move forward with your imagination.